Secret Garden
by The Blue Raven
Summary: Kane wakes Abby up in the middle of the night and asks her to come outside with him to see something. As they talk, she realizes that, at some point, her feelings for him started to change. Because I am a shippy, sappy romantic. And because we all need more Marcus Kane right now.


**Secret Garden**

**Author's Note: **Just a little something that occurred to me after rewatching season 1 and realizing that the glowing butterflies didn't appear again until season 4.

Thanks to marcusgriffin for the editing and suggestions; any remaining mistakes are purely my own. Seriously, she went above and beyond. She had to take insulin after working on this for me.

Also, I think we can all agree that, right now, the fandom needs more fluffy, shippy stuff set before season 5.

**Secret Garden**

The knocking was not particularly loud or insistent-sounding but, after almost two decades of being a doctor and a mother, even a soft noise was more than enough to wake her. Shrugging on a robe and rubbing her eyes, Abby stumbled to the door, opening it and staring into the hall. Marcus was waiting there but, despite that fact that he'd just knocked on her door, he looked almost surprised by her presence.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," he told her quietly, looking sheepish. "If you'd like to go back to bed, it can wait until later."

"Mmm, no. It's okay," she assured him, shaking her head and yawning. Only he would knock on someone's door without meaning to wake them. "Marcus, what's going on?"

"Nothing. Could I just, uh, borrow you for a few minutes? Would you mind getting dressed?" he asked.

His voice remained quiet and calm, but there was something resembling urgency in his eyes. It was that look that made her notice that he was wearing his uniform. and carrying a rifle. Frowning, she tightened her robe and stepped into the hall.

"What's wrong?" she whispered, looking around anxiously.

"What? Nothing. Why would you think... Oh, the gun. No, sorry, I just got back from patrol and haven't changed yet. I stopped here first. I was hoping you'd still be awake."

Frowning in bemusement at his very uncharacteristic rambling and uncertainty, she told him, "I'm awake now. What is it, Marcus?"

"It's... a surprise."

"A surprise?" she repeated, frowning more deeply. "Uh... Let me get dressed."

"I'll wait out here," he offered.

Nodding, she returned to her room, closing the door and pulling on some clothes and a pair of shoes. He was waiting in the corridor when she emerged again, looking expectant but not, she thought, tense. Whatever was going on, it couldn't be all that bad, or he'd seem ready to imprison, torture, or execute someone. Still, it wasn't like him to knock on doors in the middle of the night promising surprises.

"Where are we going?" she asked, watching him curiously.

"It's not far, but there's something I'd really like you to see."

"You want to show me something in the middle of the night?" she asked, smirking up at him as he flushed in response.

"I just saw something. I... wanted you to see it, too."

Biting her lip, she nodded and followed him outside. They left the compound, and he led her into the forest. Before this, she'd only been in the woods at night during emergencies. The clouds were so heavy that she couldn't see the moon or the stars. Despite his flashlight and his obvious lack of fear, walking through the dark forest like this made her heart beat a little faster and the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. Anyone, or any_thing_, could have been hiding in the shadows, ready to pounce on unwary passers-by. It wasn't a particularly cold night, but she shivered a little, and told herself firmly that it was just the damp air.

Marcus glanced over at that, sliding off his jacket and wordlessly offering it to her.

"Are you sure? Won't you get cold?"

"Unlike you, I have long sleeves. I'll be fine," he assured her, proffering it again. With a tolerant smile that would once have annoyed her, he added, "Just take the jacket, Abby. Stop being stubborn."

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes at him, but unable to entirely contain a smirk, she accepted the jacket and shrugged it on. It was far too large and hung loosely around her body, falling past her thighs in a way that was obscurely comforting. Safe, like body armor. It smelled strongly of him, but that, too, was pleasant in a way she didn't think it would have been a few months ago. Tugging it shut, she gave him a curious smile.

"Almost there," he promised, gesturing vaguely ahead of them.

Glancing in that direction, she could just make out light up ahead. Not firelight or electric light, though. The color was wrong, and it was oddly soft. Bemused and doubly curious, she stepped past him, walking towards that pale blue glow. Marcus followed, letting her lead the way and shining his light on the ground ahead of her to provide a safe path.

Entering the clearing, she thought, for just a moment, that she was looking at some kind of bioluminescent fungus on the trees. Then she became aware of motion. It wasn't fungus, but a moving, seething mass of... something. Gasping, she took an instinctive step back, and found herself bumping into his chest.

Marcus chuckled, bringing a hand to her shoulder and murmuring, "It's all right. They're not dangerous."

Glancing up at him, she bit her lip, a little embarrassed by that instinctive reaction. But he didn't look anything but pleased and eager, so she studied the glowing mass again, just in time to see something detach itself and flutter their way. She gasped as she recognized it, not from life, but from pictures in books about the ecology of old Earth.

_A butterfly. A glowing blue butterfly._

"Marcus," she whispered, taking a step forward with wide eyes. As far as she knew, insects hadn't glowed before the bombs dropped.

"Hold your hand out and stay perfectly still," he urged, hanging back.

His voice was low, eager, and full of wonder. Marcus Kane, awed by something beautiful. It was new in her experience, but not out of character for him, either. Earth was full of wonders and, for all his worries and guilt, he was no more immune than the rest of them. He'd sacrificed so much to bring them this far safely. It would have been awful if he hadn't been able to enjoy the benefits at least as much as the rest of them. He deserved that much. He deserved a hell of a lot more.

Following his advice, she slowly extended one hand, palm up. She'd read that, on old Earth, wild creatures were afraid of humans, but that obviously wasn't the case any more. The butterflies swooped around the clearing as if they weren't even there, and it wasn't long before one came to rest directly on her upturned hand. Its legs tickled her palm, and its glow made her skin look pale purple in the radius of its light. Another butterfly joined the first, this one landing on her wrist, which tickled even worse.

"Amazing, isn't it?" Kane asked quietly, voice still full of wonder.

She had to resist the urge to jump and scare away the butterflies, not because he'd managed to sneak up on her, which he _had_, but because he had murmured the words in her ear. It had been far too long since she'd felt a man's hot breath against her cheek, or had one stand close and whisper to her out of anything other than urgency or a need for privacy. Tender words, spoken in the darkness... A woman didn't realize how much she missed little things like that. After the initial surprise passed, she felt an impulse to lean back against his chest and just enjoy the beautiful sight before her. Finally letting herself take in the rest of the clearing, she realized that the butterflies weren't the only thing glowing; there were flowers and mushrooms dotting the floor of the clearing, all giving off a dim blue glow.

She remained still and quiet, but the butterflies abruptly took off again. Some change in her pulse, perhaps, or sweaty skin, or an increase in body temperature. She must have been experiencing all three at the moment. Kane was standing so close to her back that, despite the jacket, she could feel the heat radiating off his body and smell his earthy, slightly smoky scent, like he'd been standing too close to a campfire. Her reaction was too immediate, too physical. She didn't mind that fact; it was a good feeling after so long without it, but Marcus struck her as the kind of man who would spook if she reacted too blatantly to his proximity. Lowering her hand, she closed her eyes and focused on breathing slowly and steadily for a moment, resisting the urge to grab him by that too-tight gray shirt of his and plant a kiss on him that he'd never forget.

"Are you all right?" he asked after a few moments of silence. A few too many moments of silence, obviously.

"Fine," she answered, clearing her throat and turning to face him.

He was beaming, despite the obvious traces of concern in his slightly narrowed eyes. And, when she smiled warmly back, all traces of concern vanished and his expression turned almost radiant. Crowsfeet appeared on his face and his eyes actually seemed to be twinkling a little in the dim blue light.

"Marcus, they're beautiful. Thank you," she whispered, resting one of her hands on his wrist. "I knew the ground was beautiful, but I didn't realize it could be like _this_."

"I wanted you to see," he told her quietly, biting his lip and glancing down at her hand. "I know how upset you've been lately, and I know it's going to take a lot more than this to really give you peace of mind, but I hoped..."

"Thank you," she repeated, smiling warmly up at him.

Expression almost shy, he looked away, murmuring, "Any time."

From anyone else, such a gesture might have seemed romantic. Bringing her to an isolated part of the forest, in the dead of night, alone, to see such a beautiful sight. But Marcus Kane didn't do romance and never had. Poor Callie had been casually involved with him for years, and bemoaned the fact that he wouldn't let the relationship become more. Abby had never understood her friend's protestations that he had a soft, loving side. But, lately, she was starting to see what the other woman had meant. He was perfectly capable of being kind, considerate, even loving in his way. But whatever this was, it couldn't possibly be a romantic overture.

If only it had been, though. If she could, just for a few moments, be allowed to feel like Abby the Woman and not Abby the Widow.

When had time with Marcus started stirring _that_ desire in her? Not that it mattered when he was hardly likely to return the sentiment. But, damn it, she could pretend for a little while. He didn't need to know what was going on inside.

Swallowing hard, she stepped back, offering her hands and informing him, "You owe me a dance."

His eyes widened, and he stared down at her in shock, first at her face and then at her proffered hands. "I owe you a dance? Abby, what are you talking about?" he whispered, sounding confused, and a little nervous, but not actually resistant.

"I'm not surprised you don't remember," she admitted, smiling playfully up at him. "It's been years since you promised. Decades."

His eyes widened even more, and his mouth fell open a little. "You mean... the Masquerade? When we were kids?"

"Well, teenagers. You promised me a dance. Then you just vanished on me before I could collect."

He cleared his throat at that, drawing his lower lip between his teeth for a moment and looking away again. "You looked like you were having a great time that night."

"I was. It was our last party before we started our apprenticeships." Dropping her hands, she stepped close again, lowering her voice. "Why did you leave without saying goodbye, Marcus? Why did we start drifting apart after that?"

"You were having a great time," he repeated, not meeting her eye. "With Jake. I didn't think you'd want to dance with anyone else, the way you two were acting."

She swallowed hard at that, trying to clear the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. It couldn't possibly be that simple, could it? He'd already begun to harden by then, and wall himself off from others. She's always assumed that was all it was. But, with that caution and reserve already creeping into his mind, her love for Jake could very easily have seemed like a rejection of the tentative friendship that shy boy had been forming with her.

"I was young and in love. It didn't mean that I didn't still want to be friends with you. I was just caught up in the way it felt."

"You were young and in love. I was young and confused. Already afraid of being close to people. It seemed easier to let you and Jake have each other and just walk away from the situation," he admitted, shrugging. "I was a stupid kid."

"So was I. I was hurt when you started avoiding me. I should have pushed for answers, let you know I still cared. I loved Jake, but I was still fond of you. You enjoyed my company; I liked yours. Do you remember?"

"Of course I do, Abby," he sighed, shaking his head and smiling sadly. "And I regret that we didn't stay friends. I'd have become a better man if we had."

"You can still become a better man, Marcus. You're on your way there already."

"I hope you're right," he answered, smiling with more conviction. He looked thoughtful for a long moment, then he extended his hands to her. "I still owe you a dance."

"Are you sure?"

"Hey, I am nothing if not a man of my word. Dance with me, Abby?"

"All right," she agreed, slipping her hands into his. "Do you remember the steps?"

"I'm not sure I ever learned them."

She bit her lip, wondering if he was still talking about dancing. He'd had plenty of sex partners, but had he had an actual _friend _once in his adult life? Someone he could talk to? Someone to comfort and reassure him? Someone just to be close to without strings? Someone to accept him unconditionally? He'd had his mother, of course, but that relationship had often been strained. He'd needed something more, had for a long time now.

"I'll teach you," she promised, stepping closer and urging one of his hands to rest on her back.

His answering smile was shy, but he tangled his fingers through hers without being prompted, and she thought she detected a faint blush on his cheeks in the dim light. They swayed together comfortably in the clearing, not speaking. Kane's eyes moved around restlessly as they danced, and she couldn't tell if it was an unwillingness to meet her eyes, or just him being security-minded. He didn't seem tense or awkward about the dance, after all.

"Are there dangerous animals in the woods?"

"Nothing I would let hurt you," he answered firmly. "If you know what you're listening for, you can hear big predators coming a mile away."

She nodded at that, stepping closer and wrapping both arms around him. It took a moment of awkward fumbling to find a position for her hands where they weren't anywhere near his ass _or _the gun hanging across his back. She didn't like guns, even if she accepted that they were useful in the hands of a man like Marcus Kane. That didn't mean she wanted to touch one herself. But the fact that he was here and armed meant that she was safe, and that made her comfortable standing in a dark forest where she knew dangerous animals roamed.

Marcus tensed a little when she wrapped her arms around him, but quickly relaxed, slowly bringing both arms around her as well. He didn't fumble at all. His hands came to rest high on her back, near her shoulder-blades, as if he was deliberately avoiding touching her anywhere questionable.

Not that it mattered.

She was standing in the dark, surrounded by more natural beauty than she'd known existed an hour ago, wrapped in his arms and holding him in hers as they swayed gently to the music of a million singing insects. Whether he'd intended it or not, the whole situation _was _intensely romantic. And she found herself surprisingly comfortable with that fact. Resting her cheek against his chest, she let herself enjoy his presence, wondering when his warmth and smell had become not only familiar but comforting.

They stayed like that for a long time and, finally looking around, she saw that the clearing wasn't as dim as it had been when they'd first stepped into it.

"Is it morning already?" she asked, looking around with a frown.

"No. Look up," he urged gently, gently cupping her cheek in one large hand and urging her head up.

Swallowing hard, she let him guide her gaze upwards, gasping softly. The clouds had parted, and the moon was _gorgeous. _Large and full, and a warm orange color instead of the more traditional white or yellow.

"Oh, Marcus, it's beautiful," she breathed, staring up at it with wide eyes.

Making a soft noise of agreement, he released his gentle hold on her. Before she could regret the loss of his presence, he had moved to stand behind her again, resting his hands on her shoulders.

"Will you come out here with me again some time?" he asked quietly, and she could hear the hesitation in his voice. Did he really think she might say no? Was that why he had moved into a position where they wouldn't be able to look each other in the eyes?

"Of course, Marcus," she assured him, leaning back against his chest again. He wasn't bulky the way Jake had been, but he still felt pleasantly muscular: comfortable to lean against, and soothingly warm even through the jacket she was wearing. When had she started thinking of him as the kind of man whose presence she could not only enjoy, but find some actual peace in? "Any time you want."

"I... try to visit the Eden Tree every week..." Again, his voice sounded almost painfully unsure.

"I'd love to visit it with you. I know how much it meant to your mother."

He made a quiet noise at that, and it sounded almost relieved. "Thank you, Abby. It would have meant a lot to her. It… it means a lot to me," he added quietly.

"We could go now, if you wanted," she offered.

"No, not after dark. The farther you get from Arkadia, the more wild animals there are, and the bolder they get. Better to be safe."

Nodding, she turned to face him, slowly in case he wanted to avoid her gaze. He didn't move away, though, just stared down at her with one of those inscrutable expressions of his. Now that he'd mostly stopped sneering and smirking at everyone, the majority of his expressions were hard to read. The rest were warm and open in a way she wouldn't have considered possible from him three months ago. After all the years he'd spent hiding that part of his nature, it was no wonder he could be hard to read when he chose to.

"Why did you plant it so far away?" she asked after a long moment of silence. She'd been wondering that for awhile now, and it seemed like a safe subject, presumably remote from whatever had him so guarded.

"My mom didn't want it planted where everyone would see it all the time."

"Why not?" she asked, frowning. Considering the decades of care and attention Vera and her cult had dedicated to the tree, it was surprising.

"It was meant to be a reminder, of Earth. That was the only reason it was an object of reverence. Now that we're actually here, the Eden Tree could end up being a distraction instead. It's served its purpose. It's one tree of a million others now. Instead of focusing on it, we need to focus on taking care of this entire planet. We only get one second chance. We can't afford to lose sight of that."

She bit her lip at the something akin to reverence in his voice. He'd spent most of his adult life as a skeptic, but he'd obviously found a way to reconcile himself with his mother's beliefs. Along with various other facets of his past.

"Being here means so much to you, doesn't it?" she whispered, resting her hand on his arm and smiling up at him. "Having a second chance?"

He glanced down at her hand, then smiled at her, expression almost sheepish as he explained, "I never thought I'd have an opportunity like this. I hated who I was on the Ark, but I was a terrible person because _someone _had to be; someone had to make the unpleasant decisions. But we've made it. We survived. Now we can start over."

His words, and his impassioned tone when he spoke them, left her wanting to kiss him, and not entirely out of passion or desire this time. He was not the man she'd once believed him to be, and he was showing his true self a little more every day. He was compassionate, optimistic about the future, working to make amends for the past, and not just willing but _excited _to become a good man. It was hard not to share that excitement, and easy to want to encourage him in it.

God, when had she started feeling this way about him, full of respect and affection instead of suspicion and distaste? When had his company become something she looked forward to? When had anyone's company started to feel so good? She'd honestly believed, after Jake, that she'd never again feel real pleasure in spending time with people. Jackson and Callie had provided some comfort, of course, but she's stopped enjoying their company the way she once had.

She still had Jackson, at least, but Callie was gone now, like so many others, and she'd never even had a chance to tell the other woman how important she'd been, and how much she'd helped Abby recover from losing Jake and Clarke.

Something in her expression must have betrayed her thoughts, because he stepped closer, lifting a hand to cup her cheek again. "Are you all right?"

It was far too tender, dangerously intimate, and part of her was screaming that she needed to pull away before things escalated. She closed her eyes despite that inner voice, leaning into his tender touch.

"We should get back," Marcus whispered after what felt to her like at least five minutes of him offering that quiet comfort.

She didn't want to go. She wanted to stay out here, surrounded by all this peaceful beauty. She wanted him to hold her in his arms again, speaking soothing words and radiating that soothing warmth for her alone. She wanted more than that, but there was only so much a woman could reasonably admit to herself at one time. She had far too much to think about as it was. Remaining here with him would open up dangerous doors.

Sighing softly, she nodded. "It's getting late and you never sleep in. Maybe you should get some rest?."

He sighed and smiled regretfully. "You should join me again soon, though. Out here. There are so many amazing things out here."

And, from the sound of it, he wanted to share them all with her. Feeling warm, she let her fingertips brush his as they walked. She didn't take his hand; it was too soon for anything like that. But she kept close enough that the fleeting contact was repeated, more than once. He jumped the first time, staring down at her with wide eyes for a second before smiling shyly and fixing his gaze on the path ahead.

They walked in comfortable silence after that, and it felt like an unspoken understanding existed between them. And maybe it did. He'd shown her a beautiful sight, shared confidences with her, held her in his arms. Whether he'd intended those things as overtures or not, there was no denying that a new level of intimacy, or at least rapport, had been established.

A guard patrolling near the main gate gave them a surprised look as they approached from the forest, but Marcus shook his head faintly and the young man didn't say a word, just stepped aside with a respectful nod to Abby. She wondered absently how long it would be until the whole of Arkadia was talking, but found she didn't actually mind the idea all that much.

He walked her as far as her room, and she wondered fleetingly if he would try to invite himself inside. Of course, he didn't. Reticent man that he was, he didn't even kiss her goodnight. But he took her hand in both of his and just held it for a long moment, staring at her with those beautiful brown eyes of his. His expression was full of affection, and something else that she couldn't quite place: something warm and beautiful and achingly honest.

"Thank you," he whispered finally, squeezing her hand softly for a moment before releasing it.

"Marcus, why are you thanking _me_? I'm the one who should be thanking you. Tonight was lovely."

"I didn't mean tonight. Not just tonight," he answered, voice low and full of emotion. "Abby, I... You've done so much. We probably wouldn't even be on the ground if it weren't for you, and..." He shook his head abruptly, clearing his throat. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Marcus," she whispered, feeling almost shy as she smiled up at him.

He chewed on his lower lip for a moment, then murmured, "Get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow."

"You owe me a walk in the woods," she reminded him.

"Yes, I do. I'm looking forward to it."

Her heart fluttered pleasantly at that response, but he was gone before she could give any answer. Which was probably just as well since she'd been feeling a frightening urge to kiss him goodnight. It was too soon. It would complicate what was turning into a wonderful friendship. And it _was_ a wonderful. His company felt good, made her feel things she hadn't realized she was still capable of experiencing. Smiling and hugging herself, she closed the door and retrieved the nightgown she'd recently managed to trade for.

She'd been on a romantic moonlit outing with Marcus Kane! It had her feeling like a giddy schoolgirl, and that was a feeling she hadn't experienced since she'd actually _been_ a schoolgirl. It felt good, freeing, like a weight had been lifted.

It had been a very long time since she'd gone to bed with a smile on her face, but she hoped that tonight would be the first night of many.

**The End**


End file.
